So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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