so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
There are leaves in my underwear?
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