Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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