super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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