What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
