She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
