If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
why is half of my head shaved?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
