all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
