apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
