She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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