I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
