Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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