Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
