got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
