he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
