I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
