you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
