Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
