part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
