speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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