I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
