I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Randomize