Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
