what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
