Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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