You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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