Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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