is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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