big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
