Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
