Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Randomize
