Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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