Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Did I show you my penis last night?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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