well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
