i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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