What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
