they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
