uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
