I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
