What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
