What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Tornado booty call.. dedication
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
