We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
