Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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