Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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