: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
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