How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
