You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can't turn off my feet"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
