I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
she looked like the before picture.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
