he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
