Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
