What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
