honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
