i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
