Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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