Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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