return my video game
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
